“Handsome”, A One Act Stage Play, Scenes 0 – 3, 1/10/12 Gratiana Lovelace (Post #101a)

“Handsome” (R rating), A One Act Stage Play, Scenes 0 – 3, 1/10/12 Gratiana Lovelace (Post #101a)

Author’s Mature content Note:  “Handsome” contains broad physical and verbal comedy of a mature nature.  Since the topic is relationships, there is broad humor focused on sexual situations–in a very silly way.  I have rated this story R for sensuality and sexual situations.  If you are unable or unwilling to attend a movie with an R rating than please do not read further.  That is my disclaimer.

“Handsome” Scene 0– Author’s Note and Prologue

An Original One Act Stage play Copyrighted by Gratiana Lovelace (all rights reserved)
[(1)“Handsome” story graphic, left]
[My dream cast:  Images representing Rodger Calendar are of Richard Armitage;
images representing Elaine Marshall are of Julianne Moore]


Author’s Note:

The idea for this two character one act stage play story “Handsome” came to me when I heard about the brilliant actor Kevin Spacey’s annual Old Vic 24 Hour Plays Theatre Gala in London, England in November 2010.  Mr. Spacey is the Artistic Director of the Old Vic.  The premise of the event is that several groups of play writers and actors have just 24 hours to write a new one act play, rehearse it, and then perform it the following night at a fundraising gala for the Old Vic.  This sounds both scary and exhilarating for the writers and the actors.  And, as it happened the oh so talented British actor Richard Armitage was one of the performers that weekend, appearing in “The Third Wish” [(2)], that among other things, poked fun at his romantic heartthrob status.  So obviously, Mr. Armitage has a good sense of humor.

I had been writing scripts in an amateur capacity–for my own amusement until I could work up the courage to share them with anyone–for about six months at that point (November 2010).  I liked the challenge of trying to write something fast, funny, and a fixed length–just one act long and make it able to be performed with the limitations of the stage, in terms of sets.  So I set about to try my hand at stage playwriting–trying to channel the riotously funny British romantic comedy writer Richard Curtis and also good naturedly poking fun at a comic version of the persona of a romantic heartthrob that we, the public, project onto actors we admire.  “Handsome”–with some minor tweaking and wordsmithing since then–is what I came up with in that 24 hour weekend period over the Thanksgiving holiday.  I have previously shared “Handsome” on my Dreamer Fiction Story Board section under the name GratianaDS90.

I will gently warn you that “Handsome” is a mature comedy with mature themes.  Hence, the R rating I have given it.    In particular, there is a discussion of condoms that I hope you find humorous.  I blush at what I wrote, but think it’s too funny to censor–hubris on my part, no doubt.   Now, in my own defense, I claim no direct knowledge of condom varieties or properties.  Seriously–I don’t read Cosmo very often.  Ha!  So my condom descriptions will possibly fail a fact check.  I relied upon the knowledge of my gal pals and my husband of 22 years to verify that my imagined condom descriptions might actually exist.   Although, come to think of it, how does he know?  Hmm?   Well, I did not probe him for details.  My husband’s relationship history prior to our own happy coupling is ancient history–that shall remain unexplored by me.  Ha!

So “Handsome” is rather saucy, but not racy. It contains the light and flirty banter that I like to infuse into my romantic comedies.   And there is quite a bit of visual comedy that is described in my stage direction that I also hope you find amusing.  Of course, this little tid bit might just whet your appetite to start reading my stage play, “Handsome” right away–but read the prologue below first.   Then the play continues for 7 scenes/parts. It is a fully contained story, in that it reaches an end.  In any event, I hope you enjoy “Handsome’s” tongue in cheek look at modern relationships–friends and lovers and the blurry line in between them.   Enjoy!
Cheers!  Gratiana  ;->

“Handsome” Prologue: 

As crushes go, Elaine Marshall’s romantic crush on her best friend Rodger Calendar is a doozy—and doomed!     Forty year old Rodger is tall, dark, and handsome—naturally befitting the six foot four inch muscular leading man hunk of an actor that he is.   Elaine is forty five years old, 160 pounds, and five foot four inches tall—very nicely womanly curvy—with long silky brunette hair that she usually styles up and out of the way in a loose twist.  But, Elaine knows that she’s older than Rodger is, she’s not as ‘pretty’ as Rodger is, and she’s not British like Rodger is.  So it’s “three strikes and you’re out”—in Elaine’s mind–to use one of her American idioms.  But, Elaine is grateful for Rodger’s close friendship forged from them working on different artistic projects together and becoming best friends over the past few years.  Elaine just needs to ‘move on’ with her life so that she can find romance for herself—especially since romance is supposedly her writing genre.  And, Elaine has an attractive face and a pleasing disposition.   So, Elaine has hope in her quest to find love for herself.  She just doesn’t expect to find love where she does.

To be continued with Scene 1

“Handsome”, Scene 1  — Elaine has Saturday Morning Coffee with her Best Friend Rodger

It is a typical Saturday morning for Elaine Marshall.  Elaine showers and puts on a light blue soft weave jeans dress with a scoop neckline and a full skirt.  She walks around the corner from her London flat to a little coffee shop where she plans to meet her best friend, Rodger for breakfast.  Rodger is ‘the’ Rodger Calendar—“England’s Heartthrob”, action hero adventure guy, and the drop dead gorgeous desire of women around the world.  So, Elaine should be grateful to be his best friend, right?  Well, she decides to view it as such as she meets Rodger for their regular breakfast coffee ‘date’ this cool Spring Saturday morning.  But Rodger is late–as usual–as he slowly strolls toward her. [(3) right]

Elaine:  “Hi Rodger.”  She says waving him over to her table.   “You know Handsome, I’m not getting any younger waiting here for you.”  She says with an impish grin while tapping her shoe impatiently on the pavement while sipping her latte al fresco.

Rodger:  “Sorry Elaine, I over slept.”  He says apologizing while leaning down and kissing her cheek.  “No studio driver banging on my door to wake me up on the weekends.”

Elaine:  “You know Handsome, there is this new fangled invention called an ‘alarm clock’?”  She says amusingly but pointedly.

Rodger:  “I know, Elaine.”  He whines sheepishly and rolls his eyes.  “I just haven’t needed one with the driver from the studio picking me up most days.”

Elaine:  “Handsome, you’re just way too pampered.”  She says shaking her head and laughing.

Rodger:  “Well, look at my long hours on the set. I don’t have a life.  I work, I work out, I sleep.  That’s it.” He unconsciously bobs his head while he talks.

Elaine:  “Poor baby.”  Elaine [(4) right]  says teasingly.  “I seem to also recall that you also get to make out with beautiful women all day long, wear custom tailored designer clothes—some of which you get to keep, I might add”  Rodger raises his eyebrow mischievously.  “I meant the clothes and you know it.”  She rolls her eyes. “And, you’re adored by millions, which also puts millions in your bank account.”

Rodger:  Laughing and leaning back in his chair, pleased with himself, he says,  “Yes, it’s a rough life, but someone has to live it.”

Elaine:  “Very funny, Handsome.  Well, Rodger, with any luck you won’t see me here next Saturday.”

Rodger:  “Why is that, Elaine?  Are you going on holiday?  Without me?”  He asks incredulously—because, of course, Rodger can’t imagine why Elaine would ‘want’ to do anything that doesn’t involve him since they are best friends.

Elaine:  “No, … but I’m hoping to have a boyfriend soon.”

Rodger:  “A boyfriend?  What for?  You have me.”  He says grinning broadly and teasingly.

Elaine:  “That’s just it Rodger, I don’t ‘have’ you.  I’m a writer of romantic script stories and I don’t have romance in my own life.   I need some inspiration.  And frankly, best friends don’t keep you warm at night.  No offense.”

Rodger:  “None taken.”  He says nonchalantly.  “So, who’s the pigeon, Elaine.”  He asks her cheekily with narrowed eyes.

Elaine:  “Thanks so much, Rodger.”  She squints her eyes and shakes her head at him.   “Tonight will be the first time I’ve been out on a date in years, Handsome.  I need encouragement, not derision.”

Rodger:   “Years?”  Rodger raises his eyebrows in surprise.  Then he waits for her to tell him who she is going out with.  But she doesn’t offer him any information so he has to ‘pry’ it out of her.  “Alright.”  He says acquiescing the point.  “So, who’s your date?”

Elaine:   “Henry … Wakefield.”  She says with trepidation, waiting for Rodger to make a snide comment–and he does.

Rodger:  “Wakefield!?!”  He says rocking his head back in laughter.  “That snooze beard?  You can do better than that, Elaine.”

Elaine:  “Apparently not, … because he’s the only one who’s asked me out recently.  So, I’m going.”

Rodger:  “Elaine, you’re not seriously considering exchanging saliva–and other bodily fluids–with him are you?”

Elaine:  “Ewwww, Rodger.  Don’t gross me out!”  She scrunches up her face disgustedly.

Rodger:  “This is what I’m saying.”  Rodger says widening his eyes and holding out his hands to her pleadingly.   “So, why are you even going out with Wakefield at all?”

Elaine:  “He asked.  … I have to start somewhere.”  Then she says in a deadpan voice.  “So, I may as well start at the bottom—no where to go but up from there.”

Rodger:  Laughing, he says,  “This I’ve got to see.  What’s your date?  When are you meeting him?”

Elaine:  “It’s dinner out at dinner time, Handsome.  He’s picking me up at 7:00pm tonight.”

Rodger:  “Okay, Elaine.  So, I’ll come over about 6:00pm and I’ll talk to you while you get ready.”

Elaine:  “Why?  Are you going to try and needle me so that I’ll cancel my date?”  She whines.  “Hey, Rodger, at least it’s a free meal.”

Rodger:   “Are you sure Wakefield’s paying, Elaine?”

Elaine:  “Well Handsome, I’m not taking money with me.  So he better pony up the pounds.”  She narrows her gaze at him pointedly.

Rodger:  Then looking her figure up and down, he asks,  “Elaine, what are you planning to wear tonight?  Are you going for sexy siren or merely lovely lady?”

Elaine:  “Frankly, I think I have a better shot at the latter, rather than the former.”

Rodger:   “Hmmm.”  He wavers.   “It depends on the dress.  Elaine, you don’t look half bad as a bird.”

Elaine:  “Rodger, I’m underwhelmed with your praise of my womanly charms.”  She says facetiously.

Rodger:  “Well sorry Elaine, but I haven’t really thought about them.”  He says with his eyes wide and looking her up and down critically.

Elaine:  “This is what I’m saying.”  She says punctuating each word vocally and holding her hand out and widening her eyes now—mirroring Rodger’s phrasing and gesturing not two minutes earlier.  Well, they are best friends.  “I’m doomed to die loveless if I continue to hang around with you all the time, Handsome.”

Rodger:  “But Elaine, we’re best friends.  What’s wrong with that?”

Elaine:  “Nothing, but as I said, it …”  But Rodger interrupts her.

Rodger:  “… it doesn’t keep you warm at night.”  He nods his head, rolls his eyes, and gestures as if rolling his hands forward indicating his boredom.

Elaine:  “Exactly!”

Rodger:  “Well, it’s not like ‘I’m’ cutting a swath through the female population, Elaine.  I work such long hours that I don’t have a chance to meet anyone.”  He whines a bit.   “And all the women I meet on the set or that I do know off the set are usually taken.  … Or, have bad judgment—such as considering going out with the Henry Wakefield’s of the world.”

Elaine:  “Oh, that’s a low blow, Rodger.”  She says huffily as she narrows her eyes beadly at him again.  “At least you get to kiss and make out with people for a living—legally and with no worry about diseases.”  She says raising her eyebrow.  Rodger shrugs his shoulders.  “I would just like to be kissed by someone who isn’t a Troll once and a while.  … Oh!  No offense, Handsome.”  Since Rodger played a similar role in a fantasy film.

Rodger:  “None taken, Elaine.  And, technically, I was a forest Dwarf.”  He says this ironically with his hands on his hips as the six foot four inch ‘romantic sex god’ that the media has labeled him as—definitely, not looking forest Dwarf like.

Elaine:  “And if a little more than just kissing was involved once in a while, … I wouldn’t mind.”

Rodger:  “Ewww, Elaine!  You’re grossing me out!”  Now Rodger scrunches up his face in disgust.

Elaine:  “Thanks so much Rodger.  You’re such a confidence builder.  Well, I have to go get ready for my date.”   She says cheerfully while gathering up her purse, latte, and newspaper.

Rodger:  “Elaine, it’s only 9:00am.”  He says looking at his brand name wrist watch he got for free as a perk of his celebrity.  “It takes you ten hours to get ready?”

Elaine:  “Sorry, I don’t have make up and hair people and stylists to primp and fluff and wax, …”

Rodger:   “Hhhhhh!!!!!”  Rodger grabs his chest in pain.

Elaine:  Elaine rolls her eyes.  “… and clothe me like you do, Handsome.”  She says jutting out her chin—and her breasts—at him.  “It takes a lot of work being a woman.”

Rodger:  “But Elaine, you said that you’re not even interested in Wakefield romantically.  So, why go to all the trouble?”

Elaine:  “Rodger, there will be other men at the restaurant—maybe men with dates whom they think are Trolls.  So, who knows?  I might get lucky and get a phone number when either Wakefield or I go to the bathroom.”

Rodger:  “From a total stranger?”  He asks her incredulously.

Elaine:  “Rodger, at this point, I’d welcome a stranger.  As long as he’s washed, shaved, and dressed in clothes that match.”

Rodger:  “Elaine Love, your expectations couldn’t be lower.”  He says in a deadpan voice.

Elaine:  “Well Rodger, not all men can be you, Handsome.”  Elaine shrugs her shoulders petulantly and stands to leave.  “See you later.”

Rodger:  “See ya.”  He nods his head to her with a forced smile.

Elaine leaves the nonplussed Rodger behind at the coffee shop—with him wondering about her sanity as he looks askance at her retreating curvy form.

Rodger:  Then he says out loud—to no one in particular, but himself while shaking his head.  “Elaine can’t seriously be going out with Wakefield tonight.  Hmm?”  Then he decides to do something about it as he snaps his fingers and he makes a call on his cell phone.  “Wakefield?  Calendar here.  Elaine Marshall asked me to give you a call to let you know that she’s had to go out of town unexpectedly and she needs to cancel your date for tonight.  She’s sorry that it’s such short notice, but it couldn’t be helped.”  Rodger listens for a moment to Wakefield’s reply, then he says,  “You’re welcome, Wakefield.”  He hangs up his cell phone.  “Right, that’s a start.”  He says raising his eyebrows up and down mischievously smiling.

One wonders what Rodger is up to in cancelling Elaine’s ‘date’.  But, Elaine will find that out tonight.

To be continued with Scene 2

“Handsome”, Scene 2 — Rodger helps Elaine Get Ready for her Date (R rating), 1/10/12 Gratiana Lovelace

Elaine does indeed take almost ten hours to get ready for her date tonight with Wakefield.  She has her hair cut and colored and her nails done—both mani and pedi.  She has a facial to ‘freshen’ her complexion and skin tone–after also getting waxed in strategic places.  Ouch!  And, Elaine buys another dress to have another choice to wear tonight.  She’s quite pleased with herself as she arrives home around 4:00pm to shower and finish getting ready by putting her makeup on and deciding on which dress she’s wearing.  Then, around 6:00pm, her doorbell rings.  Elaine goes to the door eagerly, hoping that Wakefield might have sent her a corsage or a bouquet of flowers—quaint, but she likes quaint.  No, such luck.  It’s just Rodger—dressed handsomely like he’s going out on a date.

Elaine:  “Rodger.  What are you doing here?”  She says disappointedly while letting him into her apartment.  Elaine is still only wearing her silk floral robe over her undies since she has yet to get dressed.

Rodger:  “Elaine, I came to give you moral support.   I like your ‘dress’ by the way—easy access and it sends a clear message—hump me now!”   He gestures raising his hands up in the air, as he rocks his head back in laughter.

Elaine:  “Rodger, you’re a real comedian.”  She pouts, rolling her eyes at him as she fumes.  “Obviously, I’m not dressed yet.  I’ve just finished my hair and makeup.”  She says shaking her head ruefully.

Rodger:  “Oh now.  I’m just kidding you, Elaine.”  He says taking off his jacket and putting in on the back of a chair—revealing that he’s wearing a tightly fitted dress shirt underneath that accentuates his muscular shoulders, arms, and chest.   “Actually, you don’t look too bad, Elaine—despite you being not dressed yet.”  He says eyeing Elaine’s slender bare leg peeking out of her robe.

Elaine:  “Oooh, Handsome, I’m just quivering with your kind compliments.”  And she does a mock quiver of her body that unintentionally gives Rodger additional views of her charms–but she doesn’t realize that–and he raises an eyebrow saucily.  “You know Rodger, maybe you need to take some of your romantic story scripts’ dialogues to heart, and try to internalize that nice sincere likable persona for yourself a bit more and you’d get some dates.”

Rodger:  “No need.”  He says sarcastically over confidently as he puffs himself up.  “Haven’t you heard, Elaine?  Women adore me.”  He says batting his eyes and putting his hands together like an ingénue.  “Besides, I’m going on a date tonight, too.”  He says smiling broadly and raising his eyebrows up and down.

Elaine:  “Well Rodger, don’t forget your condoms.  Remember, “one night in Venus, means a lifetime with mercury” is the least of your worries these days.”  She says walking back to her bedroom to pick out her dress for the evening.

Rodger:  Rodger pulls several condom packages out of his jacket pocket, then he follows Elaine into her bedroom and he says,  “Right here, Elaine.” He says holding the condoms his hand, fanned out like playing cards.   “Want one in case you get lucky with old Wakefield or you get picked up while you’re on a date with him?”

Elaine:  “Ewww Rodger!”  She says looking back at him disdainfully.   “I don’t plan to get that close to anyone tonight.”

Rodger:  “Well, you never know.  It just pays to be prepared.”  He says waving the condom packages at her as he sits on the edge of her bed and smiles broadly at her.

Elaine:  “Okay, show me.  What have you got there, Handsome?”  She says teasingly while rolling her eyes.

Rodger:  “Elaine, I’ve got…”  And he holds up each of the five choices as he describes them.  “… lubricated, …” He rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders in boredom about this condom’s main feature.  “… ribbed outside, ribbed inside, …” He says in a deep growl.  “… ribbed inside and outside, Hmmm.”  He growls more deeply.  “… and … wait for it … Lovers’ Delight!”  Rodger says raising his eyebrows up and down at the last choice and with an astoundingly wide Cheshire cat grin on his face.

Elaine:  “What does that one do?”  She asks him quizzically?

Rodger:  Rodger leans in and whispers in a low growl into Elaine’s ear, even though no one is around but them in her apartment.  “It has to do with heighthening …”

Elaine:  Elaine’s eyes widen in amused shock.  “Ewww!   I don’t even want to think about that last choice.”  Elaine says disdainfully blanching and patting his muscular shoulder.

Rodger:  “What?  Never?”   He asks grinning broadly while waving the candy flavored condom package at her and raising his eyebrows up and down while smiling suggestively.  Elaine narrows her eyes and squints daggers at him.  “Just asking.”  He says shrugging his shoulders mildly disappointedly.  “At least it’s good for the planet.”

Elaine:  “If only your adoring public could see you now–Mr. Safe Sex Romantic Heartthrob.”

Rodger:  “Hey, a bloke can’t be too careful.”  He says smiling impishly and batting his eyes like an ingénue as he puts his condoms into his pants pocket.

To be continued with Scene 3


“Handsome”, Scene 3– Elaine’s Dress Selection (R rating),  1/10/12 Gratiana Lovelace

Needing to decide on which dress she is wearing on her date tonight, Elaine decides to enlist Rodger’s help.  She plans to ask him which dress he likes—and then wear a different dress altogether.

Elaine:  “Rodger, since you’re here, you can help me pick out my dress to wear for this evening.”  She says as she walks into her bedroom’s walk in closet.

Rodger:  “It’s what I live for.”  He says holding his left hand over his heart as he plops down on her bed [(5) below] —leaning up on his bent right arm and facing the closet.  “Try them on and let me see what you’ve got.”  He says waving at her perfunctorily with his left arm.

Elaine:  “Okay, here’s choice number 1.”  She says walking stiffly out of her walk-in closet wearing a black cocktail dress that is so tight over her bodice, hips, and legs it almost looks painted on her.

Rodger:  “Hubba, hubba, Elaine”.  He says laughing.  “You’ve got the right take on funeral attire—line up the next husband at the visitation.”

Elaine:  “Too much?”  She says twirling around stiffly and putting hands on either side of her bodice where her breasts are bursting out.

Rodger:  “Well, I don’t know, Elaine.  You can never have too much breast showing for me.”  He says raising his eyebrows suggestively.  “But the question is, can you sit down in this dress?”  His eyes squint narrowly assessing that possibility.

Elaine:  “I haven’t tried that yet.”  And with that, Elaine tries to sit on the edge of the bed, but her dress won’t bend at the butt and she slides off the edge of the bed with a thud.  “Uhh!  Help, I can’t get up.”

Rodger:  “Is the television on?”  He says looking around the room amusingly as he continues to lay on Elaine’s bed.  “I hear that commercial for one of those assistive devices.”

Elaine:   “Rodger, I can’t move my legs and body because my dress is too tight.”  She says exasperatedly while flopping around on the floor like a fish on a boat deck.  “Help me up!”  She pleads.

So, Rodger rolls himself around on Elaine’s bed to now lie on his stomach and he peeks over the end of the bed to see Elaine lying prone on her back on the floor.

Rodger:  He puts his elbows on the edge of the bed and places his chin in his hands and says.  “You know, Elaine.  It would serve you right if I left you down there.”

Elaine:  “Rodger!  Just help me up please.”  She whines.  “And don’t get your shoes on my nice pillow shams.”

Rodger bends his legs back toward his head while lying on his stomach and he reaches back and removes his slip on dress shoes–tossing them over the other side of the bed and onto the floor with a thud.

Rodger:  “There, problem solved.”

Elaine:  “Very funny, Handsome.  But, there’s still me lying on the floor.  So, please help me up, will you?”

Rodger:  “Alright Elaine.”  He rolls his eyes.   “I guess you asked nicely.”  Rodger stands up from the bed and walks over to Elaine’s prone form on the floor as he puts a foot on either side of her—straddling her body.  “Okay, give me your arms.”  She raises her arms and Rodger effortlessly lifts her up to a standing position in one pull.  “Here you go!  … So, I guess this dress is out.”  He says facetiously.

Elaine:  “I can’t understand it.” She says shaking her head as she walks toward her closet.  “I must have put on a little weight since I bought it last month.”  She shrugs her shoulders while pulling down her zipper in the back of her dress—revealing the back clasp of her black lace bra–as she walks back into her closet.

Rodger:  “You know Elaine, I’m still out here.”  He says plopping on the bed to lay down on it on his right side again.  “If you’re trying to do a striptease for me, you need to pull your zipper down slower.”   He says ‘slower’ slowly.  “And don’t walk away from me quite so fast.”  He smiles broadly.

Elaine:  “Yeah, yeah, yeah”  She calls out to him from her closet dressing room.   “I’ll try on dress number 2.”  She says looking at her options.  She picks a silver gray number with a flouncy skirt.

Rodger:  Poking the lace and frippery on the pillow sham he’s laying next to with a look of disdain he asks, “How’s it going in there, Elaine?  Need any help?”

Elaine:  “Very funny, Rodger.   Well, how’s this one Handsome?”  She says walking into her bedroom and holding her hands up at her sides.

Rodger:  “Better, Elaine–but only marginally.  You do know that crinolines went out of fashion two centuries ago.  … Oh, and by the way, that flouncy skirt makes you look a bit hippy.”  He says smacking his own left hip as he continues to lay on his right side on her bed.

Elaine:  “Let me see if I can smooth it down a bit.”  Elaine tries to push down the sides of the dress and the front and back poof out.  Then she tries to push down the front and back of the dress and the sides poof out.  “Crap!  The petticoat is built in.  So, it’s not like I can do anything about the poof.”  She says as she continues to try to flatten it out to no avail.

Rodger:  Raising his hand in the air, he says,  “See what I mean?  Too hippy.”

Elaine:  “Okay.  Back to the drawing board.”  She says marching back into her closet.

Rodger:  He amusingly snidely calls out to her.  “Elaine, where are you getting these dresses from?  Overpriced&unflattering.com?”

Elaine:  “Watch it, Rodger!”  She snipes at him from her closet dressing room.   “I’m running out of dress options, here.  It’s not like just any dress will work for me”  Then Elaine walks out in her third and final dress choice, a midnight blue sheath dress that hangs loosely but form fittingly on her body with a draped neck and back in a silk organza type fabric that floats romantically about her womanly curves.  She asks hopefully, “Okay Handsome, how is this dress?”

Rodger:  “Very nice.”  He says nodding his head approvingly as he sits up on the side of the bed. Elaine beams.  [(6) right]  “This dress has real potential, Elaine.  It’s rather romantic looking.  Turn around?”  He motions with his finger and she does so.  “Okay, you won’t embarrass anyone who’s with you.  The dress is flattering to you and sends the right message …”  Then he says in a falsetto voice.  “ ‘I’m attractive and a lady–but I’m willing to negotiate about the latter’.”

Elaine:  “Rodger!”  She fumes while tossing a nearby chair throw pillow at him.

Rodger:  “What?”  He says shielding himself from the pillow tossed his way as he lies back down on the bed.  “Elaine, I give the dress and you my highest recommendation.”

Elaine:  “Oh, I guess this will have to do.  I’ll just get my shoes.”  She ducks into her closet again and pulls out some black pumps with three inch heels.  Then she walks into her bedroom and sits on the chair next to the bed—near Rodger–and she puts her shoes on and holds her legs out straight to look at them as she rolls her feet around at the ankles.  “Well, these will have to do as well.”  She stands up and walks toward her bedroom door, picking up her clutch purse on her way out of her bedroom—now showcasing the slit up the back of her dress at the hem.

Rodger:  “Nice legs Elaine.  You’ve been holding out on me.”   Rodger huskily says appreciatively looking at her while he’s still lying on her bed.

Elaine:  Turning back to look at Rodger over her shoulder while standing in her bedroom doorway, Elaine says coquettishly  “Handsome, you could have had me long ago, if you were really interested.  But, a girl can only wait so long, and then she gives up.”  Elaine says this facetiously as she leaves the bedroom–but it is not far from the truth.

Rodger:  Rodger raises his eyebrows up and down and says in a deep growl under his breath while smiling warmly at Elaine walking away from him,  “We’ll see.”

To be continued with Scene 4


(1)    “Handsome” story logo consists of a cropped image of Richard Armitage’s blus shirt clad chest. found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Richard/Promos/2010Promo/album/slides/Apr2010-McGorty-04.html  and composited with Playbill text.

(2)    The Old Vic 24 Hour Plays gala information was found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/career/219.html

(3)    Image representing Rodger Calendar is that of British actor Richard Armitage was found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Richard/Promos/2010Promo/album/slides/20Dec2010-Perou-04.html

(4)    Image representing Elaine Marshall is that of American actress Julianne Moore found at http://www.canim.net/model-manken/images/julianne-moore-1024×768-24415.jpg

(5)    Image representing Rodger Calendar is that of British actor Richard Armitage was found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Richard/Promos/2008Promo/slides/JCanning-020.html

(6)  Image representing Elaine Marshall is that of American Actress Jullianne Moore and was found at  http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/pv/Julianne%20Moore-3.JPG

About Gratiana Lovelace

Gratiana Lovelace is my nom de plume for my creative writing and blogging. I write romantic stories in different sub genres. The stories just tumble out of me. My resurgence in creative writing occurred when I viewed the BBC miniseries of Elizabeth Gaskell's novel North & South in February 2010. The exquisitely talented British actor portraying the male lead John Thornton in North & South--Richard Crispin Armitage--became my unofficial muse. I have written over 50 script stories about love--some are fan fiction, but most are original stories--that I am just beginning to share with others on private writer sites, and here on my blog. And as you know, my blog here is also relatively new--since August 2011. But, I'm having fun and I hope you enjoy reading my blog essays and my stories. Cheers! Grati ;-> upd 12/18/11
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9 Responses to “Handsome”, A One Act Stage Play, Scenes 0 – 3, 1/10/12 Gratiana Lovelace (Post #101a)

  1. Fabi says:

    Good morning Grati,
    I liked it, funny dialogues and situations built in a witty way. Looking forward to the next part, I’m curious about the saucy bits. Rodger’s intentions toward Elaine are very clear…
    She’s right my age, but this is the only thing we have in common, LOL.


    • Good morning Fabi,
      Thanks for your very nice note about my one act stage play “Handsome”. Okay, I guess that my radar on “saucy” must be more conservative than yours–because some of the saucy bits already happened. Ha! More to follow.
      Thanks for visiting and commenting. Cheers! Grati ;->

      P.S. “Handsome” concludes tomorrow (Jan. 11th).


  2. Fabi says:

    Hi Grati,
    Now I’m worried – or amused, LOL. In truth, yes I found one saucy bit.
    My parents were too conservative and so I was educated. While I was reaching adult age, knowing different people and their points of view, as well as reading lots of books, I tried to find a middle term between the extremes. But please don’t get me wrong, I’m still conservative in many things.
    Maybe your “racy” is my “saucy”. (Blame the higher temperatures that happen here in my tropical country.) Tomorrow we will see. Anyway, I like your play. :D


  3. A pre-emptive note regarding my word choice in “Handsome”:

    I realized belatedly after posting today’s part 1 of “Handsome” that I should have changed “Hump me now!” to “Shag me now!”–since the character of Rodger is British. And Brits seem to like to “shag” more than they like to “hump”, in terms of the slang vernacular. Ha! But, making a change to the text would fill up my subscribers’ in box with a follow up post–and I didn’t want to do that.

    So for British slang purists out there, please just think “shag” when you read “hump”. Ha! Now I hope this discussion about “shagging” won’t distract you from your daily work. Ha!

    Cheers! Grati ;->

    P.S. But readers, do let me know if there are other Brit slang terms that I might use. I’m getting a real education. Ha!


  4. Ania says:

    Hi Grati,
    Thanks for sharing this story! I love it! I love the humor in the dialogues. And, I still have a smile on your face :-) I am looking forward what will happen next ;-)


    • Hi Ania,
      Thanks for your kind remarks. I’m glad that you’re enjoying “Handsome”. It concludes tomorrow (Jan. 11th).
      Humor is always my ‘fall back position’–and usually at the center of my life with my hubby. We’re a regular comedy team sometimes with our shared jokes. Ha!
      Cheers! Grati ;->


  5. Pingback: “Handsome”, A One Act Stage Play, Scenes 4-7 End (R rating), 1/11/12 Gratiana Lovelace (Post #101b) | Something About Love (A)

  6. Pingback: Whimsical Wednesday Musings on Love, Sex, and Writing About It, 6/20/12 Gratiana Lovelace (Post #212) | Something About Love (A)

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