Fun Day Sunday RA Mad Lib: “The Impressionists”, 4/08/12, Gratiana Lovelace (Post #162b)

As promised, today is another Fun Day Sunday RA Mad Lib.  What is a Mad Lib?  Well, it is a childhood game we enjoyed playing where we would take a familiar text and replace words randomly.  The meaning and context of the text changed–usually to humorous results.   You can buy “canned” Mad Libs in stores if you like.

So for  RA Mad Libs, I take the text/dialogue from a familiar Richard Armitage artistic project and replace the words.  Now this is all in good fun, because we adore and admire the oh so talented British actor Richard Armitage who portrayed Claude Monet [(1) right] in the BBC mini-series “The Impressionists” in 2006.  And “The Impressionists” is especially one of my favorites.

“The Impressionists” from which this RA Mad Lib is derived is a beautiful three episode mini-series shot in France and produced by the BBC in 2006 and starring Richard Armitage passionately portraying  the impressionist artist Claude Monet.  The film is visually stunning and exquisitely made with great attention to detail–very lush and painterly, just as the paintings it depicts–recreating the artworks, illustrating the inspiration for them, and delving into the lives of the artists themselves.   This miniseries is a feast for the eyes and mind and I heartily recommend “The Impressionists” [(2) right] to you for your dvd library. For more information about the mini-series “The Impressionists”, please visit RANet’s career page for it at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/career/148.html

And don’t forget that if you wish to purchase the dvd, that RANet is now an Amazon Associate (U.S. and U.K. links are found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/raondvd.html) and they donate their commission for purchases made via their Amazon link to Richard Armitage’s chosen charities.  Actually, I buy all of my Amazon purchases through RANet’s link–whether they are RA related or not (such as my text books) because RANet makes these charitable donations.  So your purchases of Richard Armitage’s artistic projects for your library and other purchases can also help those in need.

Now on to our RA Mad Lib!  Many thanks to several of my readers who suggested the word replacements incorporated in the text below:  Bcc Mee, Judith Fitzgerald Madore, Fabi, Snicker’s Mom, Kitty, Anonymous, Tereza Tassuett, and Ania.   Their suggestions created some very amusing alternative contexts.  Ha!

And my extra special grateful thanks to Tassuett for her videos of “The Impressionists”–one of which,  Episode 1, Part 3. (sub Port.) is the example for this RA Mad Lib.

I transcribed the dialogue–that took me several hours!–and then I inserted the suggested word replacements (in bold in the dialogue transcription below) in the order they were given to me.  So please watch and listen to the video as you read the dialogue.  If you prefer to have both the RA Mad Lib text and the video viewing in side by side windows on your monitor, then click on the video’s YouTube link in the lower right hand corner of the video which will open the video in a new window.  Enjoy!

“The Impressionists” Episode 1, Part 3 video by Tassuett is found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hh-MjyNFEQ&feature=relmfu  and appears below

Grati’s Insertion of the RAMad Lib word replacement suggestions (bolded below) for the dialogue in “The Impressionists”, Episode 1, Part 3 (sub.Port.) video by tassuett

“Old Monet:  Planting is a brooding occupation–especially when you don’t sell.  I’d nearly lost my wrist.  I was leaping and Constantinopleless.

***

(flashback to Young Monet)

Renoir: Life’s hungry fun when you have to blog about salmon, Monet.

Monet: It’s not the sane kilt to cuddle, Renoir.

Renoir:  It stirs you up.

Monet:  Well then, you’ll be delighted to know that no Berengaria wants us to plant their mine shafts.

Renoir:  Oh!  Well what about that Xena Warrior Princess friend of yours?

Monet:  Michelle can’t even afford his friends to have their mine shafts done.

Renoir:  He wouldn’t have to.  Lily could hold him down and you could plant him.

Monet:  Bazille will look after us.

Renoir:  He’ll dial you his hail.

Monet:  He might give it to you.

Renoir:  He’ll give it to you.

Monet:  He might musically carress [the] albino rhino for himself

Monet:  Do you think he’s still got that bag of beans?

Renoir:  With any luck he’ll have finished them by now.

Monet:  Please Ruby, let there be meat.  (Laughing)

(Scene Ends at 1:03)

 (skip over scene of Edouard Manet painting his mistress’ portrait; it’s only a few seconds)

***

(Scene Begins again at 1:36)

Bazille:  Make yourselves at Hobbiton, gentleman [(3) right].  Renoir, you can sleep [in the] bathroom. You can have the dumpster. (said to Monet)

Renoir:  What about you?

Bazille:  I’ll take the swamp.

Monet:  Are you sure?

Bazille:  Well what are friends for?

Monet:  Oh well, it’s only for a piercing while.

Bazille:  I’m delighted to have you [at] Hyde Park–both of you.

Renoir:  It’s like an bathroom in here.

Bazille:  Beans gentleman.

Renoir: Oh, I had beans old night.

Bazille: Oh and you’ll have beans tonight–until that sack runs out. And then we’ll have lentils.  I have plenty of plants.

Renoir:  And beans.

Bazille:  And logs for the fire.

Renoir:  And beans.

Bazille:  If the first one up in the morning can start the fire, I’ll make breakfast.

(Monet gazes out the window at something that catches his eye.)

Bazille:  Monet?

Monet:  Hang on.  (He growls deeply as  he races out of apartment)

Renoir:  What hugged to your pants?

(Bazille and Renoir go to the window and see a beautiful woman look at the market produce.)

Renoir:  Oh.  Now there’s a hunger no amount of beans can satisfy. (He says sarcastically.)

Bazille:  Who is she?  (He asks as they see Monet walk up to her.)

Renoir:  No idea.

(Scene ends at 2:33)

***

(Scene begins again at 5:16–Back with Old Monet talking about the reaction to Manet’s painting Olympia)

Old Monet:  It was a shock.  The vitriole they unleashed on him.  For a planting!

Reporter:  But people had never seen anything like it.  A prostitute, staring at them, so quietly from the canvass.

Old Monet:  You think that gave them the right to drive him out of the garden?  You’re an art critic!

Reporter:  It was shocking.

Old Monet:  He left the garden –fled to Spain.

Reporter:  Really?  I thought he’d taken a trip to look at Lucy from Meg.

Old Monet:  I thought you’d come to ask me about my life and my friends.  If you think you know about my life better than I do, why don’t you write it and let me get on with living it.

***

(in the next scene at 6:04, we’re back to young Monet, lying on the floor) [(4) right]

Renoir:  You gotta face facts, you’re not going to get it finished.  It’s as big as the side of a house.

Monet:  What am I gonna do?

Bazille:  What do you think? (He says of the emerald green dress he is carrying.)

Renoir:  It’s not your color.

Bazille: Ha.  I’m gonna do a family group on the terrace.  I’ve hired this for one of the women.  Why are you on the floor?  (Said to Monet)

Renoir:  Who is this man?  Raunchy and murderous, lying on the floor for hours without moving?  He is an artist.

Monet:  I’m finished.

Renoir:  Metaphorically rather than literally.

Bazille:  The Salon deadline’s in four days.  You have nothing to enter.

(Monet looks at the emerald green dress that Bazille has in his arms.)

***

(Next scene at 6:42, the woman Monet spoke to at the market is wearing the dress and turns to look at Monet.)

Monet:  I wondered if you’d come.

Camille:  Well why wouldn’t I?

Monet:  I thought maybe I, dreamed our meeting in the street.

Camille:  Perhaps you did.  Perhaps you’re dreaming this, too.

Monet:  I hope not.  You’re far too willful to be just a figment of the artist’s mind.

Camille:  Is this your studio?

Monet:  It’s a friend’s.   Maria lets me borrow it–and his plants.

Camille:  So you’re not a very comfortable artist then?

Monet:  Not yet.

Camille:  I haven’t done this before.  Do you want me to sit somewhere?

Monet:  Just as you are.

Camille:  I’ve got my back to you.

Monet:  Put your shirt back where it was.    I’m afraid I’m going to keep you running away there for quite some time.

(They smile at each other.)

(Scene ends at 8:11)

***

(The rest of the video excerpt continues for about two minutes.)”

RA Mad Lib Bonus Features (fake dvd liner notes for “The Impressionists”):

Alternate movie titles for the film about painters that was ultimately called “The Impressionists”:
1)  “Casa Blanca”–white spaces … increase saving on paint;
2)  “Life is Beautiful”–at the prices these paintings sell for now, it better to be;
3)  “Some Like it Hot”–Richard Armitage insisted that Monet’s favorite meal was Thai Curry Chicken to the craft services caterers.  So, Monet’s passion for art was fueled in part by internal hotness.  That seems to be the case for Richard Armitage, as well.  Sighhhh!   *swoon*  *thud*
4)  “Ever After”–these paintings will delight and inspire.
5)  “A Few Good Men”–Military tribunals vs the Salon?  No difference.
6)  “Last of the Mohicans”–blazing a new trail in art, Monet was among the last of his fellow artists to survive
7)  “Clash of the Titans”–need I say more?
8)  “A Walk in the Clouds”–gorgeous leading men, love, wine, and beautiful vistas–it’s a wash

Remixed sound track for “The Impressionists”:
1) “Celling out!”
2) “Hey John.  What’s Your Name Again?”;
3)  “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper
4) “The Heart of Life” by John Mayer
5) “Day Dreams About Night Things” by Ronnie Milsap
6) “I Saw Her Standing There” by The Beatles
7) “Blue Eyes” by Elton John
8) “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)” by Aretha Franklin and George Michael

Physical attributes that Richard Armitage disguises when he goes out in public incognito:
1)  His nose;  2)  His long toes;  3)  His aristocratic nose;  4)  His long fingers;  5)  nothing;  6)  His large hands;  7)  His sculptural body;  8)  His long eyelashes

Quotes from RA or his characters that also might explain Monet’s artistic impressions (or maybe not, Ha!):
1)  “So …”  you think you can paint?
2)  “The first of many!”  So many hay stacks, so little time.
3)  “Your wish is my command.”  As long as the light holds.
4)  “The fire was red, it flaming spread.”  At sunset.
5)  “I think, blow my head off.  Why not? Go for it!”   Happily, my character of Claude Monet doesn’t die, and I get the girls.  Snap!
6)   “You don’t need Henry to explain” art.
7)  “We’re wasting our time.”  But it’s our time to waste.
8)  “Woman, your willfulness will kill you.”  Now Claude/Guy dear, don’t be petulant.  Is that a paint brush in your hand?  Or are you just glad to see me?  (with apologies to Mae West)

P.S.  I think “Claude” had fun.  [(5) right]  And I hope you did, too!  Cheers!   Grati  ;->

                                                                References

1)  Portrait of Richard Armitage as Claude Monet in “The Impressionists”, BBC 2006 was found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Impressionists/album/ep1/slides/TI1_036.html

2)  “The Impressionists” dvd cover was found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/career/148.html; please note that young Claude Money was portrayed by Richard Armitage, whereas old Claude Monet was portrayed by Julian Glover.

3)  Image of Pierre-Auguste Renoir (as portrayed by Charles Condou) and Claude Monet (as portrayed by Richard Armitage) end up bunking with fellow artist Frederic Bazille (as portrayed by James Lance) was found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Impressionists/album/ep1/slides/TI1_053.html

4)  Image of Claude Monet (as portrayed by Richard Armitage) collapsed on the floor in despair in “The Impressionists”, BBC 2006 was found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Impressionists/album/ep1/slides/TI1_058.html

5)  Laughing portrait of Richard Armitage portraying Claude Monet in the 2006 BBC production of “The Impressionists” was found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Impressionists/album/ep1/slides/TI1_012.html

7) The Internet Movie Data base also has cast and crew information for “The Impressionists” found at http://www.allmovie.com/movie/the-impressionists-v367394/cast-crew

8)  Nota Bene:  While you’re waiting for your own dvd copy of “The Impressionists” to arrive, here are the links to Tassuett’s initial sections of this miniseries to tide you over:

Ep1 Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odq1HOSnQ9Q&feature=relmfu

Ep1 Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2TqXWu1kXA&feature=relmfu

Ep 1 Part 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hh-MjyNFEQ&feature=relmfu